Not Everything Happens For A Reason

You know what I'm sick of? Bullshit quotes and instagram posts that summarise in a number of different ways that "everything happens for a reason". Hands up, I used to be one of those people that saw a happy quote on a pretty background in some floaty writing with a positive little message and think "I'll post that and people will think I'm inspirational and such a positive thinker". But looking back I just want to slap my past, naive, self.

I'm not saying that we should all walk round being pessimists, hating life but it's time to realise posting a quirky and upbeat quote won't make you feel better in the long term. If something bad has happened to you, it hasn't happened for a reason. It. Just. Happened.

What possible reason is there for someone to lose a child?

Exactly. There isn't one.

If I woke up tomorrow and a stranger came up to me and offered me a million pounds but only if I didn't have a baby I wouldn't lie back in my bed later that evening, turn to Mattie and say "ah so that was the reason. It all makes sense now". The pain would still be there, I wouldn't be healed because I found a reason for my loss.

I get it, I get why people say it to me. We like to pretend that things don't hurt and when they do we like to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm guilty of feeling that too, wanting to believe it's all part of a plan where I'll walk off merrily into the sunset like a film. But that's just not life.

IF I ever get my happy ending, it's because I made it happen...not the universe.